Co-regulating with babies and children
This post explains the benefits of somatic work to support co-regulation and release the effects of birth trauma from the physical, mental and emotional bodies.
What is co-regulation?
Co-regulation is the reciprocal sending and receiving of signals of safety between nervous systems. If you’re a parent, this intrinsic action in the body is occurring between you and your baby, and also with those around you.
Have you ever entered a room of people and noticed a sense of overwhelm, intensity or anxiety? You might be picking up on someone else’s dysregulated nervous system, a feeling of imbalance, unpredictability, stuck in a state of ‘fight, flight or freeze.’ Now picture entering a room and feeling immensely calm and grounded. You may be feeling someone else’s regulated nervous system, a sense of steadiness, predictability, in a state of ‘rest and digest.’
The autonomic nervous system, the body’s threat response system, can become dysregulated when it runs out of capacity. I like to visualize the nervous system’s capacity like packing a paper bag with groceries. When the bag is too heavy or full, it can tear or overflow. It will run out of space to carry anything else, until items are taken out of the bag and the bag is mended. This system that was designed to keep your body safe may believe it is constantly under threat until it finds a steady, regulated state through releasing trauma and creating more space.
Supporting birth trauma and postpartum challenges
Knowing this, it is no wonder that many of us experience trauma during pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Childbirth can be an inherently traumatic experience, even during the most gentle, loving birth. Those who have experienced unplanned medical intervention or unexpected complications may find it even more difficult to recover physically, mentally and emotionally.
My somatic practice is rooted in supporting early developmental and adolescent trauma. This approach allows us to access trauma and memories that are implicit in the body, though we may not remember in our minds. This means I support babies and children in all forms, from pregnancy to newborns to children. It also means I support adults in healing their inner child, their own birth trauma and healing together with their baby after experiencing shared birth trauma.
Once you bring some regulation on board, somatic work can also beautifully support additional challenges you may be experiencing, such as nursing or latching difficulties, tummy troubles, fussiness and tightness or weakness in the baby's body. Somatic experiencing not only supports the nervous system through co-regulation, it also helps to integrate primitive reflexes that occur during pregnancy through infancy, including the rooting and sucking reflexes that support feeding. Somatic work supports the baby's physiology, loosening tightness or strengthening weakness in their musculoskeletal system to improve posture for nursing and ease discomfort. There are also gentle approaches to ease gas or tummy troubles by regulating their digestion - mama’s too!
Co-regulation between children and caregivers
Humans are wired to feel a subtle connection to those we are closest to. A baby’s nervous system will sync up with those they are around the most, such as their mother(s), father(s), adoptive parents, foster parents, grandparents, guardians and consistent caregivers.
Think of co-regulation like a lighthouse (the caregiver) and a ship in the night (the baby). If the ship is lost and cannot find the light, there may be panic, fear and the need for survival. If the lighthouse is operating as intended, that bright beacon of light will shine, providing a safe haven and sense of calm for the ship. When a parent’s nervous system is regulated, the baby can also experience a state of regulation, and vice versa for a shared state of dysregulation. As one system finds a state of regulation, the other pings and shifts.
How can somatic work help you and your family?
Somatic work is a supportive tool for any parent or caretaker, during any stage of development - prenatal, postpartum and parenting through adolescence. Some moments or events stand out as traumatic, while others may seem insignificant or go undetected. No matter the cause of trauma, there is no judgment or blame when the parent or child feels the effects. These are simply signals, opening a path to healing.
The following are possible signs of trauma or adverse experiences that you and/or your child may have been through, which may benefit from somatic work:
Birth trauma during your own birth or the birth of your child
C-section or other medical intervention during childbirth
Pregnancy complications while you or your child were in utero
Unable to latch or nurse as a newborn or infant
Trouble sleeping as an infant or child
Constantly crying, despite having needs met (sometimes referred to as colic)
Spent time in the NICU after birth and/or medical interventions or surgeries
Unable to be held immediately after birth
Postpartum depression or anxiety
Intense stress or trauma experienced during pregnancy
As you explore what is right for you and your family, you may consider receiving support through somatic work. Soul Rising offers local postpartum recovery support through in-home visits across Monterey County. Virtual sessions are also available for anyone seeking support outside the local radius.
Book a Postpartum Session or Free Discovery call to learn more.